Jokes of the Day - "A man walked into a bar..."

It is common to hear jokes in English that start with the phrase "A man walked into a bar..." Here are a few!

A man walked into a bar with his dog and ordered a drink. Then he and the dog started playing darts.
"Hey, that's amazing!" said the bartender. "Your dog can play darts!"
"It's not that amazing," answered the man. "In the last ten games he's only beaten me twice!"

A man walked into a bar and sat down next to a large man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?" he asked the man.
"No," the man answered.
A few moments later the dog got up and bit the first man in the leg!
"You said your dog doesn't bite!" the man replied.
"That's not my dog," the second man answered.

A duck walked into a bar. He went up to the bartender and asked, "Do you have any grapes?"
The bartender, annoyed, said, "We don't have grapes, we serve drinks here. Get out!"
The next day the duck walked into the same bar and asked the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?"
The bartender, irritated, shouted, "I told you yesterday that we don't have any grapes. We have drinks! Now get out!"
The next day the duck walked into the bar again. He sat at the bar and asked the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?"
Now the bartender was furious. "I told you two times that we don't have grapes here. We serve drinks! Now, if you come back ONE MORE TIME and ask me the same question, I will NAIL YOUR BILL TO THE BAR! GET OUT!"
The next day the duck walked into the bar. He asked the bartender, "Do you have any nails?"
The bartender, confused, answered, "No."
The duck looked the bartender directly in the eyes and asked, "Do you have any grapes?"

A Daily Dose of English

Get your daily dose of English at English Daily. Here you can find great activities and resources for students. Below are a few of the sections you can access on this web site:

Train your ear - Listen to authentic news clips and fill in the blanks with the words that have been removed.
Learn slang - Get a start on understanding many of the slang terms you will hear people in the U.S. use. Complete with examples.
Movie lines - Great for those students who are Hollywood film aficionados. Read dialogs from real-life films.
English proverbs - Practice some of those English proverbs.
Common English mistakes - Although geared toward mistakes Chinese students of English often make, any student can learn from looking at these mistakes that are common across languages.
TOEFL vocabulary - For students who need more formal, academic vocabulary, there is a section where you can study words commonly found on the TOEFL exam.

Have fun exploring the site, and be sure to comment on any web sites you may have found that are helpful!